Time Travelling

2.31am (GMT+1), Sunday, 28th October
Jamie and Jith have some friends over in the living room. K is a tea fanatic. Stephen has an iPhone.

K: Can I have some tea?
Jith: No! It's way too late. If you'd asked an hour ago you could have had some.
K: ???
Jith: If you go back in time and ask me an hour ago you can have some tea then!
Stephen: [Checks phone] ...oh. It's one o' clock. The clocks have gone back.
K: Can I have some tea then?
Jith: Yes, you may.

How is this going to be hard?

12.12am, Tuesday, 31st January
Jamie, Joe and Jith are discussing a unit about Web Technologies.

Jith: I guess he teaches that stuff because there may be people who have never used the Internet before on the unit!
Joe: Yeah, those people DEFINITELY exist on our course...
Jith: I meant to say "people who have never made websites before"!

The Sound of Tinkle

7.43pm, Saturday, 8th October
A friend of the flat's friend, Lorry, is visiting. In a bid to convince Jamie to go out, he says he is going to listen to Jamie in the bathroom.

Jamie: [To Lorry] I don't have a problem with you listening to me on the toilet; if you're doing that, then you're the one with the problem!

Apologetic

4.01pm, Sunday, 22nd May
Jamie and Jith are in the kitchen.
Jith: [Steals water from tap while Jamie is washing up] Sorry!
Jamie: I am not going to accept your apology. You owe me three waffles.
Jith: Here, have some invisible waffles!
Jamie: No, they are the wrong species of waffle. I want actual waffles.
Jith: You didn't specify...
Jamie: Right, next time you ask me to find someone, I'm going to go and dig up a dead body because you weren't being specific!

Yuman Beings

10.42pm, Monday, 28th Feb
The gang are watching Cosmos with Mikey. Carl Sagan suggests that humans could have been worm-people if the earth had different conditions.

Jamie: Think about it, if someone cuts you in half, then you've got a mate!

Speed Dating Reflections

9.59pm, Thursday 17th Feb

Jamie: I don't believe in soulmates. Probabilistically, there are a hundred girls out there that I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with. It's just a matter of making sure the one I choose doesn't find out about the other 99!

I'm Not Actually Awake, You Know...

2:26pm, Sunday 13th Feb
Joe is sitting at his desk, using his computer.

Joe: I need to get up.
Jith: ...but you are up, at your computer!
Joe: No, I mean properly up.